It was a Tuesday night about 3 months ago. My band just got out of practice and we were doing our usual talk about music. It was then a light hanging from a tree was calling us, beckoning for us to investigate. I walked up to the tree and at a closer look, the light became a low hanging branch. The way it hung was suspicious and all of the sudden, the investigation turned into a call for action…and that action was to high kick it off the tree.

It was 45 minutes later with legs hyper extended and most of us doubled over in laughter, we realized what was happening. We were all under the influence of an elixir named Four Loko. It took over our better judgment, which would have normally stopped us from taking out unnecessary aggression on this lowly tree branch.

This was my first time with that drink. Further analysis of the evening through recordings of several songs, we found out we weren’t the arena rock band we thought we were. Thanks to the malt liquor (12% to be exact) and its hefty dose of a Red Bull type blend some might consider crack and speed combined, we were playing at a higher tempo and at certain times, different tempos. Luckily for us, it wasn’t a live performance and it was purely for fun so no one but the neighbors heard the aural atrocities that were being committed that night. However, practice was a blast and kicking a tree branch for no apparent reason has become our default image every time we drink Four Loko.

Whether you’ve tasted the drink or not, you may have several questions. And those can easily be answered:

Q: Why would you drink such an awful drink that makes you kick a tree branch?
A: Because for $3.00 (or less) you’re awake and drunk. It’ll get the job done but at the price of taste.

Q: Have you drank it again since?
A: Yes, and the gospel of the Four Loko has been spread to numerous other people.

Q: I’ve tasted it, how can you stand the taste?
A: What are you a girl? Even my sister likes the taste! But honestly, it’s horrible. There’s two faces one makes when drinking Four Loko. There’s the face you make once you crack the top and stare down the dark opening that will release the demon. This face is made up entirely of the thought, “am I really going to drink this again!?!” While the other face is the face you make after every gulp/sip/chug. It’s the face of disgust and regret.

Q: Why does disgust and regret keep bringing you back?
A: Because after you make about 5 to 9 faces, you’ll start to feel its effects. The taste doesn’t go away but like I said in the first answer, it gets the job done. 

For those both fortunate and unfortunate to have tasted Four Loko, you know what I’m talking about and I bet some of you have stories that are directly linked to the drink. With how horrible it tastes, you have to make the can worth it. Just make sure you keep it to one, because two cans would tip the scale quickly from nuts to just plain crazy.

We at Fasttrack Prototype don’t endorse drinking or having a good time……wait…yes we do*. But now that you know choose your flavor and enjoy!

*in legally and especially socially acceptable ranges

Our Santa Monica Pub Crawl is back! For the third time in a row now, following the tradition of “So You Think You Can Drink” and “America’s Best Pub Crawl” we proud to present:

To prepare everyone for the upcoming crawl here are some important tips to follow before crawl day.

Top 10 Pub Crawl Mistakes

Remember, if this is your first Pub Crawl, whether you’re an alcoholic or a lightweight, you should focus on completing the event and not on how many drinks you get. For many of you, this will be an incredible personal milestone. Remember to show up early, and stay late!

1. Not resting the day before.
I’ve already broken this rule, staying up late to do this, but we hope you got some rest. Get your mind off the pub crawl. We know you’re nervous about the big event because there’s so much alcohol. You’ve been training all year. You got this!

2. Eating too much the night before.
Don’t overload on pasta! You don’t want to be in the restroom during the pub crawl. The party may move to another bar while you’re in there!

3. Trying new equipment/food/drink on race day.
Nothing worse than finding that the new beer you’re trying gives you gas, that new shot gives you a migrane, those new jeans chafe, or that new drink makes you sick to your stomach.

4. Going out too fast.
The #1 biggest mistake. Don’t let the adrenaline take over. If you take too much alcohol early on, it can take a long time to recover. No sense getting to bar 2 really fast then struggling for another 2.

5. Not taking your walk breaks early.
If you trained with walk breaks, take them from the start and regularly. You’re going to be excited, so use your mental discipline. Walk around the bar, and meet people!

6. Drinking too much/too little.
Drink as much as you can in an hour. JUST KIDDING. You know your limits. We want to see you at the end. Fill up at the bar and keep tabs on how much you’re drinking.

7. Not maintaining proper form.
Don’t slump over when you’re drunk. Don’t pass out, or else we’ll pose behind you and take pictures.

8. Getting down on yourself if you start to hurt.
You will hurt at some point. Expect it, and know you’ve put the time in to get through it. It’s ok to admit that you’re weak sauce.

9. NOT Drinking with a stranger.
We encourage that you meet new people! There will be a lot of people at the event you don’t know. Feel free to introduce yourself. There is at MOST 3 degrees of separation of the people there. We’ve invited nothing but wonderful people.

10. Forgetting to enjoy the day!
Have fun! Remember why you’re here! To have fun!

Beer Pong can help discover cures for blood cancers!

With beers in arms, we’ll combine forces with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and take the fight against blood cancers to their doorsteps.

South
Santa Monica
Sunday, Feb. 28, 2010
4-7 pm

It gets better. By contributing $10 to the war effort, you’ll earn yourself a mark of honor granting you access to an opportunity drawing and these bar specials:

$3 Domestic Drafts
$10 Domestic Pitchers
½ off Wings, Fries and Nachos!

Take up arms for an all out beer pong assault.

$15 for solo players
$25 for 2 player teams

• You get a pitcher of beer for your first game
• Earn a mark of honor to enter into an opportunity drawing and access to bar specials
• The satisfaction of knowing you made an active contribution to supply the front lines in the war against blood cancers.

This is just the beginning, troops! Let’s start off the season with a bang. With Team in Training and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, let’s show cancer no mercy. Be strong in your stride and march towards victory!

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In celebration of a Pre-Pre-Thanksgiving, we’re going to be at Bleu tonight. Why a Pre-Pre and not just a Pre? Well let’s face it, when the day ends Wednesday, everyone’s going to be in a mad rush to get home in a furious cavalcade for the Thanksgiving finish. So why not take our sweet ass merry ol’ time and enjoy tonight for what it is.

Tuesday.

C’mon like we really need a reason to go out on a Tuesday?

Bring your drinking shoes and singing souls. We’ll feast our minds and hearts on good times.

We realize it’s Wednesday, but Adventure Tuesday typically ends on Wednesday morning. Sometimes spontaneous and random things happen on Tuesday night. There’s also a good chance that nothing happens. So last night?

The alarm was set to 2:30 am. My friend Jim said he’d be in town at around 3:30 am so I wanted to be ready to take off the moment he was in town. Given that it was early in the morning, I figured it wouldn’t take too long to get around town, CBS studios is by the Grove and the Grove is quite literally two streets from the house. We were going to get tickets for the Price is Right.

He didn’t show up until much later, so I wasn’t in line until about 6 in the morning. That left me with broken sleep throughout the night with my alarm going off in 20 minute intervals. We managed to get tickets and go through the entire process right up until actually going into the studio when I had to leave. Jim had to go deal with business and my keys were in his car and once I leave the premises, there’s no coming back. So much for rockin Plinko and winning the showcase.

I spent the day napping and working on projects when my Underage Girl text me. She’s not really underage, but it’s a very long story. She wanted to hang out and drink so when the evening struck she came over with a bottle of Makers, correction, a very fuckin large bottle of Makers, straight up Costco style and thought it would be a hoot to shoot down shots and shoot the shit.

Sketch filled me in on a birthday celebration going down at Rush Street so we hopped in the car 4 shots in and drove down to Downtown Culver City. I’m a man who understands his assets and my assets are my girls. Using their powers of seduction I send them out to flirt and skirt where we can score drinks and make nice. In the end, I get the girl, grab the money and run. Case in point, I didn’t pay for a thing last night.

It was raining in appropriate drama fashion and with her all stumbly and fumbly, I opted not to go to Bigfoot West where the others headed. Instead, we ended up in a McDonald’s parking lot.

The search for the burger in LA brought us to The Shack in Playa Del Rey. It was a nice overcast day near the water, which proved a perfect day for a three-way man date.

So the FTP boys have added another goal to their food Legend of Zelda quest: the burger. The burger your mouth waters when you think about it. It’s the burger that sits on a rock in the middle of the ocean beckoning ships to come towards it to their untimely demise. It’s the burger that makes an Italian plumber and his brother run through 8 different worlds via pipes and water and dungeons to save…you get the picture.

Which brought us here. It’s a good place to go if you want a burger in Playa Del Rey. They have numerous variations of the classic burger, which should fill what ever burger combination you’re craving at the time. Worth a visit…but this isn’t a commentary.

A little word to the wise. Parking can be a bit difficult. There wasn’t much to choose from when we went. There are several options on where to park close by, but free spaces can be few and far between.

Now down to business. So where is it?

185 Culver Blvd, Playa Del Rey, CA 90293 (map)

What time does The Shack close?

Bar Hours:
Sunday through Thursday: 11:00 am until 11:30 pm
Friday through Saturday: 11:00 am until 1:30 am

Kitchen Hours:
Sunday through Thursday: 11:00 am until 10:30 pm
Friday through Saturday: 11:00 am until 10:00 pm

So was the food good?

Yeah, it was.

So did this burger achieve the “the” status?

No. But worth a shot and worth going back to if you’re in the neighborhood.